Saturday, May 01, 2004

Alarming increase in the size and density of pedestrians.

Austin, TX - The Automobile Association of America issued a warning yesterday about what they consider "an alarming increase in the size and density of pedestrians."

Jamie Cropp, AAA President, outlined the two major dangers from pedestrians, "First, fat people - or Sport Utility People, as we like to call them - display incredible arrogance on our streets. You can lay on the horn and still they take forever crossing the street. An old, fat person? You might as well finish your conversation and your _mocha latte, because you will have plenty of time.

"Sporty people are no drive in the park either," Cropp continued. "Like when you face a pack of them rollerblading down the sidewalk toward you. You can become confused by the multicolored helmets and drive straight into them. Next thing you know you have a knee or elbow pad wedged in your grill."

Lance Torpey, spokesperson for the Professional Pedestrian Psociety, admitted the body weight of the average pedestrian rose substantially in the past ten years. "Gaining weight is just a defense mechanism, a personal side-impact airbag, if you will. The PPP is working on a lightweight armor for those who are not equipped with airbags.

"Also, being more rounded they roll off the hoods and quarter panels better, as well as rolling on the asphalt after being hit. That adds another layer of safety," continued Torpey. "Skinny people don't have a chance; they just hit the road and stop. They do not even bounce well. They need the armor."

European drivers face even greater danger from gigantic pedestrians as the average car is ten times smaller than those in the United States. "I've actually started avoiding pedestrians," said German driver Hans Gruber.

Child of the 80s?

b3ta has a hilarious Photoshop competition using Kenny Loggins as theme.

He he he. That's kewl!

He he he, yeah, Robosaurus is kewl.

Friday, April 30, 2004

Wow. This is some cool science.

Living Systems in Evolution

What is happening in Thailand?

On one hand, we're told that more than 100 men, mostly young but some not so, were killed when, high on drugs, they attacked well-armed targets with, for the most part, nothing but machetes. Why would they?

Then we have reports like this one.

They're definitely gonna need to put "worser" in the dictionary now...

or how else are we going to describe the situation in Iraq?

US general under scrutiny in Iraqi prisoner case


Iraq attackers kill 10 US troops

She must be doing something right.

Described as:

"Gossipy, raunchy, potty-mouthed."

"A foulmouthed, inaccurate, opinionated little vixen."

"Wonkette's arrival on the steps of the Capitol is a quiet victory for creeping National Enquirer values."

"[H]er enthusiasm for penis jokes cannot be as great as her blog suggests"

Wonkette must be doing something right.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

What's Farsi for "What the HEY????!!!"?

and do the TV interviews feature an Iranian country bumpkin saying as how his "hounds all a got to makin' such a darn racket, what with the crazy howlin' an' all" and the "pickup just clearout quit in the middle of nowhere"? Flying Saucer Fever Grips Iran, Theories Abound.

Yet another great way to defeat web ads.

Install a custom HOSTS file.

A quick lesson how not to handle things.

After a truly awful day in Thai history, more than 100 people lie dead. Apparently young Muslim men, hell-bent on suicide, they attacked heavily-fortified police posts and other targets at 15 locations in the south of Thailand, most armed with nothing other than machetes. After the fighting had stopped, more than 100 young men lay dead. What posessed these poor wretches to do this? What were they hoping to achieve?

So what does the PM do? He declares this a victory?

"Prime Minister Thaksin Shina-watra was quick to declare victory yesterday, using the death count as a benchmark for success and praised the security forces for prompt and deadly response."

For whom is this a victory? For the local communties? Hardly. For the long-term prospects for peace in the south? Hardly.

72 dead on Oct 14, 1973

41 dead on Oct 6, 1976

44 dead on May 17-20, 1992

107 dead on April 28, 2004

That's some victory.

Using death-counts as a measure of success was what the US did in Vietnam.

Crude oil hits a 13-year high....

while crude politics and even more crude foreign policy reach all time highs?

Some people make money selling stuff on eBay

and others use it to demonstrate their fine sense of comedy and to get a bit famous.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

The Mystery Sniper of Najaf

April 28, 2004: Fighting increased in Fallujah (west of Baghdad) and outside Najaf in the south. In both cases, gangs of gunmen, who have been tormenting local Iraqis, but convincing many foreign journalists that they are fighting to Iraqi independent from American oppression, are facing extermination by American troops. Because the gunmen use civilians as human shields, and use mosques and public buildings (especially schools and hospitals) as bases, local Iraqi leaders have urged coalition military commanders to try negotiations. But the Sunni gangs in and around Fallujah, and the radical Shia gunmen in the south, have no intention of surrendering or compromise. The Shia religious leadership is upset about being bullied by the radical al Sadr gunmen, but have been unable to organize an armed force that can deal with the problem. Well, maybe not entirely. There is apparently an Iraqi sniper operating in Najaf, killing al Sadr gunmen one by one. This, not surprisingly, has unnerved the al Sadr gangs, and caused them to act brutally towards Iraqis in attempts to find the mysterious sniper. Meanwhile, American military commanders are developing plans that will enable them to use their considerable combat power to work with whatever force the Shia religious leadership can come up with, to defeat the al Sadr gangs, while using as little American military force as possible. In Fallujah, the marines are moving into position for a final assault on the gangs.


Gadget rage surfaces on the airwaves.

This guy really lost the plot.

The crazy world of electroluminescent clothing

(and other products) is upon us!

How the Bugatti Veyron Works

Is this the greatest car on the planet?

That's debatable but the technology behind the Bugatti Veyron is quite interesting. To read about this impressive tool with a W-16 engine, 1100 horsepower, a top speed over 400kph and can get from a standstill to 300kph in 14 seconds, see this. You can also read about it in Popular Science.

Well at least we now have a new insult to use!

Next time someone upsets you, why not call them a "poobag"?

City Orders Horse Carriages to Fit 'Poo Bags'

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Man, this whole world is out of its freakin' MIND!!!

Someone book the human population into psycho-therapy, QUICK!!!

New Iraq Flag Meets With Disapproval; Identical to Dominant Color In Flag of Israel...


Gallery To Display 'Video Portrait' Of Beckham Sleeping...

This looks like the gadget to have.

At the moment, the Prismiq MediaPlayer looks like the best of the bunch.

Excellent application of modern technology.

Kidspotters®: To keep track of kids at Legoland®.

Raiders of the Lost Ark, part two.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- An expedition is being planned for this summer to the upper reaches of Turkey's Mount Ararat where organizers hope to prove an object nestled amid the snow and ice is Noah's Ark.

Not only is this an interesting project but it leaves room for plenty of tom-foolery:

"My favorite quote: ''We are not excavating it. We are not taking any artifacts. We're going to photograph it and, God willing, you're all going to see it,' McGivern said.' As if pictures can't be doctored and are absolute proof...."

"A picture of a chunk of an arc and the text "we got it" isn't absolute proof either."

"Did anybody else read that as "researchers will climb Arafat"? Huh, boy would that be weird!"

"Arafat is actually geographical. If you don't believe me, google for "Arafat plains".
Both Arafat and Sharon took their last name from geographical locations that have historical connotations for their respective peoples.

But I agree, it'd be quite difficult to climb Arafat ..."

"Yea, and next week.....
I'll be heading an exciting expedition into the bogs of Ireland to search for the little people.

"These explorers will reveal once and for all that the B arc crashed on this planet and we are all ancestors of the Golgafinchan."

Drunk Run Over by Train, Lives

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A Mexican man who got drunk, fell asleep on railroad tracks and was run over by a train slept through the entire episode and escaped unharmed, local officials said on Friday.

Jorge Lozano Lopez, a 32-year-old electrician, did not regain consciousness until well after paramedics arrived on the scene late on Wednesday night.

"He must have been very drunk to have slept through all that," said Jose Alfaro de la Rosa, a health official in the northern town of San Nicolas de los Garza. "It's a miracle he wasn't hurt."

The train's driver spotted Lozano Lopez on the tracks and frantically blew the whistle but was unable to rouse him or stop the train in time. The undercarriage passed within just a few inches of his body but did not touch him.

"I counted only six beers," a bewildered Lozano Lopez told local newspaper El Norte. "But who knows how many more there might have been. I don't remember."

Monday, April 26, 2004

Just what on earth is Bush up to?

Is this really going to be the way to deal with China?

"The budget is busted; American soldiers need more armor; they're running out of supplies. Yet the Department of Energy is spending an astonishing $6.5 billion on nuclear weapons this year, and President Bush is requesting $6.8 billion more for next year and a total of $30 billion over the following four years. This does not include his much-cherished missile-defense program, by the way. This is simply for the maintenance, modernization, development, and production of nuclear bombs and warheads.

Measured in "real dollars" (that is, adjusting for inflation), this year's spending on nuclear activities is equal to what Ronald Reagan spent at the height of the U.S.-Soviet standoff. It exceeds by over 50 percent the average annual sum ($4.2 billion) that the United States spent—again, in real dollars—throughout the four and a half decades of the Cold War.

There is no nuclear arms race going on now. The world no longer offers many suitable nuclear targets. President Bush is trying to persuade other nations—especially "rogue regimes"—to forgo their nuclear ambitions. Yet he is shoveling money to U.S. nuclear weapons laboratories as if the Soviet Union still existed and the Cold War still raged."

Read Slate's Our Hidden WMD Program

The greatest thing since sliced bread?

Nah, probably since the Hibachi, though. Check out this award-winning portable BBQ.

Ah'm gonna HAVE to get mahseff one o'deez tastee muvvaz!

The Samsung Yepp YH-999 Portable Media Center looks like a real must-have.

Repeat after me,

"the war in Iraq is over!"

Baghdad bomb targets US occupation convoy - at least 12 US soldiers thought dead.

There goes the neighbourhood!

Thanks, Tony! Thank-you again so much. After decades of IRA terrorism in the UK, we get to enjoy a whole what, 10 years of peace and quiet before you climb into bed with George Bush? Now this.

From the no comment required department.....

This is no laughing matter.

Voice of Woody Woodpecker dies.

Da Vinci's centuries-old motorcar design unveiled.

Researchers have finally figured out Da Vinci's incomplete design for a working ancestor of the modern automobile.

eBay printer purchase leads to US terror probe.

There are a few worrying things about this.

British buyer Matt Watson found his new purchase had apparently been used to generate a wide variety of suspicious ID cards in the USA - from Military IDs to drivers' licences.

So why were neither MI5 not the US Embassy in London interested in his story?

Why was anyone interested when the Sunday Mirror pursued the story?

How can anyone have a real name like Alicia Alcantra?

Why does Mr Watson speak in such riddles?

"All the names used on these cards appearon them and have a walk round a to be foreign."

"If they are genuine, anyone could just put their own photo nuclear bomb site."

Billy Joel has yet another car crash.

But what I want to know is how crappy is a house whose foundations can be cracked by a Citroen 2CV?

Imagine this: You're a cop. You respond to a call. A blind, weak, 71 year old woman...

who has very weak hearing acts in a manner that could be construed as failing to submit to the order of law. You have mere seconds to decide if this could turn real ugly, real fast.

What do you do?

What do you do?

Find out what cops in America did.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Will they play soccer with Powell's head when they're done?

Wow, things are getting pretty vicious in Washington, eh? Don't get me wrong, though, I have no doubt that a little karmic payback is due his way.

Photos of the devastation after the explosion in North Korea

are available here.

Land of the free. Home of the brave. Volume whatever....

New climate-change disaster movie upsets US government - "No one from NASA is to do interviews or otherwise comment on anything having to do with" the film, said an April 1 message to employees.. Seems to me like a helluva job to cover up.

Pfizer and Pepsi to market Viagra power drink.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of "MOUNT & DO."