Saturday, May 15, 2004

Bumper crop of conspiracy-theory stuff.

Wow! has a whole bunch of fabulous stuff for all you conspiracy theorists out there covering the Mexico UFOs and the alleged beheading of Nick Berg in Iraq.

Winston Churchill is quoted as having said,

"You can always count on the Americans to do what's right. But only
after they've tried everything else."

If you're a pilot,

you'll appreciate this handy flow-chart on how to react to GPWS - Ground Proximity Warning System (I'm not sure "enjoy" is accurate.....)

Friday, May 14, 2004

You got a problem, buddy?

Maybe you need a R.I.O.T. Wheel.

Further to my earlier posting

about rap history, if you should find yourself in the mood to throw a street party in the classic Jamaican stylee, you could do worse than check out Trax in Wax.

Best piano on Earth?

Well, it probably depends on personal preferance. I prefer the Fazioli, which is the nicest feeling and sounding piano I've ever had the honour to play. I just wish I could afford one. Oh, and if you're wondering if Steinway really is the best, this has some insight on the truth about Steinways and some of the other options in fine piano ownership.

As the gap between the haves and have-nots grows,

the poor get poorer and the rich get, well, more toys, of course. So is the AirBoard the latest, coolest way to enjoy the snowy slopes and surf the seas or just a totally-cool way to face plant a stand of pine trees? Can't wait to see the first lawsuits in America.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Freak waves really suck.

Literally they do. Read about how a 30m freak wave can strike a ship at see with a force some 6 times greater than ships are designed to withstand and you'll never want to venture out into the deep ocean again. Oh, and quantum theory - Schroedinger, no less - is involved so it's extra cool.

Scientific proof people have too much time on their hands.

And something else, apparently.....Masturbate-a-Thon.

Well, it's a pretty impressive world in which we live.

Despite all the problems around us, it's still quite remarkable that a group of amateur enthusiasts can realistically attempt to put a payload in space. /. has the thread. What's next - Actually, yes.

The Vietnamese are trying to stretch things a bit, aren't they?

What a truly odd time in which we live: all the dark people want to be light, all the light people want to be dark, the short people want to be tall, the tall people want to be short. To cap it all off, we've had a black number 1 golfer and a white number 1 rapper. The women I know all think they're too thin, too fat, too ugly or too something else and the people who think they're too beautiful wish they had some brains and a little personality. Now this: Vietnam plan to make people taller

Yes, Virginia, there is justice in this world.

Paedophile 'kills himself' in Bali. It's such a shame, the damage all of this will have caused to that community, the boys, their families and the families of the convicted man.

Wow, this is a sad story.

Man Raised As a Girl Commits Suicide. I just hope that cretin Gary Perch gets his just desserts.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

This is funny. have a regular Photoshopping competition. Sometimes the results are stupid, sometimes they're offensive, sometimes they're just senseless but this week's prehistoric 419 scam is pure genius.

I don't know where the US military gets its idea of how to win "hearts and minds"

but this it most definitely ain't.

RnB great John Whitehead shot dead....

what a shame. As one half of Whitehead and McFadden, he was responsible for some of the great RnB hits of the 70s. RIP John Whitehead.

How to really do useful something with the internet.

It's kind of a good news story. Kind of.

Real live video of UFOs?

And, for once, it's not some backwoods farmer or peasants in Bangladesh. Ok, so it's Mexico, but at least this time it's their air force.

An excellent and very interesting history of Rap Music in the US

can be read here, although the writing errors are more than a little worrying considering that's Yale. If you're wondering what the hell rappers are saying, you could try the online Dictionary of Rap.

News on Playstation Portable (ooh! aah!)

is here. No doubt it'll be released in plenty of time to bankrupt most families for Christmas next year.....

Ok so, like, here are some links for today.

American Shown on Web Site Being Beheaded

What About the Hundreds Who Were Suffocated at Kunduz?

so, if that lot's got ya down and you don't know what to do next, you could exercise with a Wobble Board.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Isn't it just gorgeous??!!

Child of the 70s? Like makin' music?

Then you really need to check out Lounge Lizard from Applied Acoustics. A virtual electronic piano, it's perfect for anyone who hankers after a nice Fender Rhodes and tight little Wurlitzer. Reviews here and here.

15 Ways To Avoid A Southern Ass Whuppin'

Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners & Northeastern Urbanites:

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick yer ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will just HAVE to kick yer ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever - it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated & generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick yer ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of FedEx, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet & flanked Meade at Gettysburg, instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain & complain about the carving, we'll kick yer ass.

7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money & get the hell out of here. Or we'll kick yer ass.

8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that yer a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended - w/gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick yer ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, & you will get yer ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern dungholes like Detroit, Chicago & DC, & we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, & that's all that matters. Now, go away & leave us alone, or we'll kick yer ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty & polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick yer ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir & ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into yer ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our fresh air, & we'll kick yer ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here & tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get yer ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, & you will go home in a pine box ... Minus yer ass.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Hearts and minds...

and testicles and kidneys too, no doubt....

I'm just enjoying some of my 80s classic "music".

So I wonder whatever happened to the likes of Blancmange, Midnight Oil, and Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy?

Some more forgotten acts from the "golden age" of music (ha ha ha):

Mental as Anything, The Tubes, The Diodes, Men at Work, Vince Clark (I'm sure he's around somewhere), Bow Wow Wow, Comsat Angels, Psychedelic Furs, Echo and the Bunnymen, Haircut 100, Kissing the Pink (aka KTP) and Devo.

And that's just the ones off the top of my head, without whipping out my old "cannonical list of great 80s acts that, perhaps weren't that great, ha ha". Maybe I have too much time on my hands today.

Actually, I know from first-hand experience that, if you look around in the UK, you can meet plenty of the former members of these bands working in places like bank back-offices and pubs. Some of them are really cool and one in particular, a former drummer, used to run a fantastic pub on the edge of the Yorkshire Dales. Also it's kind of cool to meet someone in your office and find out they were in Sisters of Mercy. And get this: I met a guy in London who was, for all the earth, a librarian - cardigan, glasses, demure nature. He's the founder of Kerrang! magazine!

Obviously, I didn't include acts like U2, Duran Duran, INXS, Simple Minds, Adam Ant, Culture Club, Wham because, well, we know pretty well where they are today, innit?

Isn't it time for John Hughes to return to his roots and start making 80s teen coming-of-age flics again? I'd watch 'em, for sure.

Where Are Iraq's Refugees?

An interesting article in Slate attempts to tackle this question.

You know what I find so disappointing?

Here we are in 2004 and there still places with "re-eduction" camps. This is so depressing. But, I suppose if it helps the West sell more guns and find more oil, then it's ok.

Rejoice in human creativity!

Wow, I really love Asia. some of this stuff is fabulous.

American administration:

"We don't need anybody's help. This is America - we can build a better own-goal than anybody else, damnit!"

String 'im up, I cry!

How dare anyone take shots at the Olsen Twins? Oh yeah, that reminds me, some people perhaps have a slightly unhealthy interest in the young women.

Say "goodnight and good-bye" Ariel........

Politics in Israel about to get even more interesting.

Ok, now even we big boys have an excuse to

buy a Nintendo Game Boy® Advance: GPS mapping and navigation attachment.

By now, almost everybody should have an old defunct hard disk drive laying around.

Why not do something useful with it?

Not sure if this is cool or rather sad.

But it's certainly an interesting piece of work.

Finally some sense in the US news industry.

The Editor of the LA Times complains of a rise in what he calls pseudo-journalism.

This prompted me to look up a useful definition of the term, "journalism". The results are quite entertaining:

"Writing intended for publication in a newspaper or magazine, or for broadcast on a radio or television program featuring news, sports, entertainment, or other timely material."

"The opinions of the uneducated, reflecting the ignorance of the community." (Wilde)

"that extraordinary scribbling to be found in newspapers, on the back of the advertisements" (G. K. Chesterton)

'talians gonna get their butts kicked!!!!

Now that the Israeli Mob have their sites on Las Vegas. Johnny, Vito, Guido, Benny, Tommy and Fats, you all better just move out now, man!

"Oral sex lessons to cut rates of teenage pregnancy"

I kid you not and it's not even April 1st! You can read about the UK government study here. I wonder how long until they figure out anal sex, masturbation and a variety of other things could also reduce teenage pregnancy? Oh, and I suppose nobody's thought about saying "no" or practicing safe sex?

Sunday, May 09, 2004


The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied only a little while.

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, senor?"

The American laughed and said that's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.

"Millions, senor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

and this

is just plain worrying.


this is interesting. Note I don't say it's correct, just that it's interesting.