Thursday, September 09, 2004

Most expensive piece of furniture in history!

Who on earth needs to spend fifteen million US dollars on a cabinet? I appreciate design and heritage as much as anybody but, seriously, when you spend that kind of money on furniture, surely you deserve a visitation or something to put you back on track? There are children dying of abuse, malnutrition, exposure, illness and war in this world and people are hoping to top this price at the next auction. That's just sick.

How do you manage to make a film featuring Buddhism but...

... fail to learn something as basic as not touching Buddha's head, let alone sitting on it? Well, Phillipe Caland seems to have managed it. I find it quite astonishing.

Norwegian sexologists unveil "penis atlas"

Finally, somebody's done it - published a guide to the penis. Says here, "the volume uses photographs of 100 men in order to inform, demystify and correct many existing misunderstandings about the male sex organ." And, no, the article gives no hints to help you figure out if you really ARE impressively large so you'll need to buy the book to find out, unless you really can handle standing in a book shop "reading" it.

Dog robs gas station

Staying with the theme of dogs who do cool things, seven-year old terrier, Conan, not only has a criminal fondness for chocolate but, having consumed his "booty", he let out a good burp! Can't wait for the reality TV shows spawned by this news - "When Dogs Go Braaaap", "When Dogs are Dawgz" etc....

Police: Puppy Shot Man Trying To Kill Dogs

What a fantastic story this is. Not so much human-interest as animal-interest. Nice to see a bit of real poetic justice.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Rodney Dangerfield's 20 Best One-Liners

Well, I laughed....

1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy... I'd have had nothing to play with.

2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.

3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said "Because you came home early."

5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning. I put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

9. I'm so ugly...My father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

11. I'm so ugly .... My mother had morning sickness AFTER I was born.

12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There're so many places they can hide."

14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.

16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it.

20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth control.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

See, I had the right idea all along!

And you all think I was a loser who just mopes around, half-asleep. I was brain-storming!

The Guardian newspaper writes that most people have their best ideas as they're falling asleep. Read the article.

Remember those days of the past when we all had to pick up a dead tree to find out what's going on?

Well, those days are long-passed, of course, along with things like the twelve inch black vinyl CDs, the eight-track tape player, front-seat lap belts, Atari Pong, having to leave the house to meet with friends, playing soldier with sticks for today...., but I digress. Sorry.

Apparently, some people believe there has been organised, nay corporate even, censorship of the "news" in America. Shurely shome mishtake?

Well, Project Censored has released their list of the most censored media stores of 2003-2004.

I dunno, in this modern "information age", I sometimes wonder if it wasn't better being spoon-fed the "truth" by news organisations who did the research and filtering for us rather than having to wade through the tons and tons of raw data that passes for "information" in the world of the internet.

Need to kill some time? Need to make a quick million bucks?

Why not just sit down and hammer out a solution to one of the Millennium Problems? There's a million dollars available to anybody who finds the solution to one of these delightful little teasers. But be warned, according to this thread on /., the Poincaré Conjecture may well have been solved now, so don't waste your valuable time on that one, ok?

Monday, September 06, 2004

IBM's mainframe-daddy in final outsourcing to the great R&D lab in the sky

Maybe not quite as cool as a Harley-daddy, Bob Evan's role as the father, or one of the fathers (in a kind of geek version of having a gay couple as parents?), of the IBM mainframe computer makes him infinitely more valuable, on a technical if not (un?)cultural basis).

Bob Evans, IBM mainframe pioneer, dies at 77

Is there some kind of prize for this?

It suddenly occurred to me this morning that, via the majesty of the internet, I have recently been in communication with two friends, each of whom sits pretty well on the opposite side of Earth from each other. What's the other connection? They each sit in the middle of one of the largest hurricanes to hit their area for a while. One is in Florida and the other is on the Japanese island of Okinawa.

Swedish Snowmobile gets UK parking ticket

According to this BBC News article, a man in Sweden who has never visited the English city of Warwick has been issued with a parking ticket for illegally parking his snowmobile, which sits in his barn and has also never visited the English city of Warwick, in the English city of Warwick. If you get my meaning....

Sunday, September 05, 2004

What I'm listening to now.

Well, well, well, I'm so glad to report what seems to me a real revival in down home, smooth-love soul.

Soulstar is Musiq's third album, apparently. Based on this one, I'll be eagerly anticipating his first two. This is just plain genius (the album, not my previous sentence). If you like Stevie Wonder, you'll love this, both for its soulful quality and the near-Wonder sound. Some people think it's boring, not as good as some of his best or some of his "competition" but that only makes me really wonder what I'm missing elsewhere. I love this musiq....

Usher's Confessions is another RnB album that's so hot, you might want your oven mits when handling it. I'm another old fuddy-duddy who thought little of Usher based on what he saw on MTV et al., but BOY did actually listening to this album change my opinion. If you can't get jiggy ta dis, you must be dead!

Chocolate Factory by R Kelly. Though some of the lyrics are too silly to be taken seriously, this is a great piece of music. What else can I say? If you like RnB, just buy the thing, dammit!

and finally, to round out this little group, I give thee Lemar's Dedicated. Scrumptious, tasty, mouth-watering, beautiful vibes. If you ain't heard Dance (With You), you really must get out more. I'm pretty sure I first heard it on the radio in London last summer on pre-release (the single, not me) and it blew my socks off. No, really. This guy may have almost single-handedly revived the UK Rnb scene. His music is just plain fantastic. Lover's groove par excellence.

What on earth is wrong with these guys?

The Routemaster, the world-famous London double-decker bus is nearing its end of life, a rather lamentable fact as nearly all of the newer buses are soulless, nasty ways to travel, especially compared to the wonderful old Routemaster.

Routemaster's final journey

I bet the French wouldn't let the Routemaster die.

The best places to die?

No, seriously. The title of the article caught my eye, of course and, yes, it's about where in AMERICA is best to die. I suppose, with an aging population, it's only normal to think about such things but, really, isn't it better to seek the best place to live? It's probably odds-on that the slums of Brasil and Bangladesh or the desert of Iraq are fairly bad, albeit effective, places to die. I dunno, the article makes sense but I'm still kind of weirded-out but this kind of "planning".

10 myths women have about men hosts an article that purports to debunk 10 common myths women believe about men. Hmmm..... apparently we men ARE interested in what women have to say, DON'T only think about sex, and AREN'T strong. Well, if women don't believe this is true, I wonder whose fault that is?

You'll nay be needin dis PDA, den...

Apparently, the Oirish are drinking less of the old elixir of life. Da good stuff, dat foyne brew.

Heaven forbid that beer drinking should be down on the Emerald Isle. Well, it seems modern gadgets are to blame.

Finally, some justice in this world!

Finally, some recognition for all the hard work and self-sacrifice that the producers of dance music have put into bringing us some truly epic floor-stompers. I mean, where would we be without the likes of Barry White, Giorgio Moroder, The Brothers Gibb and DJ Larry Levan?

See the Dance Music Hall of Fame website. No, it's not big and it's not clever but at least it's there. Will there be a Lounge Music Hall fo Fame in 20 years? Better get a move on - Claude Challe is already 57.

Oh yeah, the story's in this BBC News article.