Numnuts. No, probably worse. Highly-paid numnuts.

Lord help us.

I read somewhere today about the latest in the long and distinguished line of achievements that mark Gillette's "Mach3Turbo shaving system" (I kid you not). The latest model is battery-powered. No, not kind of battery-powered, silly! You probably had some stupid idea like they use the battery to move the blades like in all those existing electric shavers?

Oh p'shaw! Nothing so dumb. Those beautiful marvels of engineering and product development have come up with a device that somehow uses a battery to make the thing shake, rattle or roll (I couldn't remember exactly what) but YOU still have to drag the thing across your weary face. Yes, that's right, somehow the thing moves about or vibrates or, heaven forbid, induces some sexy swaying in the shave head that entices your whiskers to stand to attention and be cut. Wouldn't a stun gun do this?

Why are they numnuts? Well of course there's nothing I could find on their website about this. Oh sure I can "Click here to experience the Mach3 web site." but that takes me to one of those stupid sites with an "Enter site" button and then I have to wait for a Flash movie to download and then I find it's only available for a selected few European countries, none of them the UK and so I choose Francais and then it wants to download another Flash movie and....... Life really is too short for this isn't it?

Anyways, I just thought the idea of an electric shaver that, well, isn't an elecric shaver was kind of neat.

But then again, we're living in an age of massive companies that aren't as well as inflation that isn't, apparently. Yes, Gillette do sell batteries as well as shavers.