Friday, December 09, 2005

Stop the insanity!!!

Is nothing sacred?

Disney is re-launching Winnie the Pooh. Yet again, it appears the usual Hollywood rule applies: why maintain quality when you can really screw something up?

At first, I misread this article in The Independent and thought perhaps they were really gonna go for it, with Christopher Robin perhaps leading the National Front or something but, alas, the truth is more shocking still. They are offing the laughably effeminate character based on AA Milne's own son.

Dainty CR is replaced by a girl. Yes, a girl. Why? Wasn't he already enough of a girlie? Hollywood Rule number 2: if it ain't broke, break it.

Why not do it properly? Why not turn the Pooh stories into a "touching, heart-warming drama about a poor West-Coast Latino boy from the barrio who turns to his amigos for botherly support and low-riding good times"?

Kreestophah Row-Been: "Yo Pooh esse, kick anotha old-school rrrrolla' fo tha homies!"

I suppose this is a good time to tell you about two of my favourite books, The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet. They make excellent bedtime stories for your children. When you're done with those, you can read The Dancing Wu Li Masters which, unless your child is as precocious as I was (and arrogant as I am now), probably won't make such great bedtime reading. When you're done with that, try In Search of Schrodinger's Cat, which definitely ain't for six-year-olds. Even your faithful correspondent had to wait until he was about twelve to get into that one.

Ahhh... that's much better. Remember, only MY blogs could possibly take you from news about Disney raping Winnie the Pook to quantum mechanics in a single post.

Right, I have to go play with my space-time continuum. Toodle-pip!

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